'Inch'Allah'

Life as an expat wife
I remember when we announced our move to Oman to family and friends one of the questions which arose was: 'What are you going to do on a daily base?' I answered: 'I'm going to take care of the children and all the rest that needs to be done' and I remember the mortified look on some people's faces which very well expressed their thoughts that must have been a bit like 'hmm, she's going to hang around the swimming pool reading books and drinking mojito's, going to the beautyparlour and hang around with other soulmate-desperate housewives,...'. Well I can tell you life abroad puts everything into perspective and as you might have noticed it's been a while since my last post, because one way or the other I just haven't had the time... not even for painting my nails or going to the salon. :-)

Don't look so surprised! Well first of all this is what an average weekday looks like:
A. Daily routine
5.45 am the alarm goes off
6.30 am breakfast
7.10 am heading for school
7.30 am school starts
12.00 am pick up Bruno
12.30 pm lunch
14.00 pm pick up Max
14.30 pm - 17.30 pm homework & entertaining 3 kids
17.30 pm kids in bath
18.00 pm dinner
19.00 pm kids in bed
21.30 - 22.00 pm lights out for parents too


B. The time in between
As you can see, I have some time between 7.30 and 12.00 to get some things done, but at the Omani tempo those 4 hours are only worth 2. Because things here only get done 'Inch'Allah', if it's God's will to do so. Compare it to Spain's mañana.


Dubai
In order to get an Omani resident card we had to leave the country and return when the paperwork was done. That's why we flew to Dubai for two short days. We stayed in the hotel inside the Mall of the Emirates a HUGE mall (inclusive of a grand skiing piste) and did some shopping. We left a souvenir for the Mall to remember us by: let's just say Margaux has no stroller anymore. :-) The second day we went to the Burj Al Arab and sat on the beach enjoying the peace and quiet before flying back to Oman.

Max and Bruno are doing great in school. They are quickly making new friends and are invited to all the birthday parties, which is a great way for us to meet new people.

The first memorable swimming experience in Oman
Peter, one of Wim's Belgian colleagues, and his wife An, invited us to their house for lunch. The setting was perfect and the drinks and food were divine. They had a swimming pool and the kids were so happy they could take their first swim of the year. As our swimming bracelets are still in the container we made use of the two swimming bands provided by Peter & An for Bruno and Margaux who can't swim yet. We made the big mistake of not putting on our swimming suits as well. They were having great fun. Margaux stayed on the steps and Bruno was very careful. We were enjoying a beer/prosecco in this marvelous setting until suddenly I just saw a band floating and no Margaux. I ran and had to jump in the water with clothes on to save her. Luckily it only just happened and she was more than fine. Great, there goes making a good first impression ;-)! The remainder of the afternoon I sat at the table in my underwear (luckily matching :-)) with a towel round my waist. 
You just wouldn't believe what happened next. Bruno wanted to float on the mattress, but slid off too and went under water and it was off limits for us reaching him without jumping in again. As I was horrified of having to undress even more and Wim was there first I was telling him: JUMP! So he did, with his clothes on and full pockets with wallet, new car keys and a brand new smartphone, which didn't survive the adventure. He then sat at the table with towel around his waist too. From then on the swimming pool was off limits ;-). I don't think Peter and An will forget our visit soon ;-). We sure made an impression even though I'm not sure of what kind :-).


* sorry guys, no pictures on this one ;-)

Getting things done: the way of the Indians/Omani
First of all an Omani fact: a high percentage of Omani work at the ROP (Royal Omani Police) and the rest all have semi- to very important jobs. The heavy duty jobs or the jobs no one else wants to do are done by expats of the cheap kind: Indians, Pakistani,... who are very happy to have jobs so they can provide for their families. Don't understand me wrong. There are also a lot of upper class Indians, etc... in Oman too who have clearly had an international education and who do have the talent of getting things organized. We've had the privilege of meeting a few of them and enjoyed their company. 

But ok, the point I was making is that it's not unusual that you hardly understand what they are saying, they always say yes even if they mean no (which you can also experience in the way they nod their heads (they make a sort of infinity sign with it)) and they are afraid to take responsability for their actions. If I say it took about 15 phone calls to 5 different men and driving to the shop to discuss the delivery and installation of a dishwasher, that should tell you something. And I swear, it's like that with everything. That's what I'm doing to fill up my days between all the drives to school. Even opening a bank account takes hours of queing, speaking to different people, filling in tons of forms and providing recommendation letters. Just crazy.
 

Moving in?
We've been living in Muscat for a month now and the house is clean, painted and provided of curtains. Completely ready for us to move in... but unfortunately there's been a miscommunication about the arrival of our container and it will take another week before it lands on Omani soil and then still has to go through customs... What a bummer! We were hoping to be able to celebrate Max's 7th birthday in our new house, but all hope is gone as that is tomorrow! Let's fix a date for valentine then... or maybe that's too naive... Let's just say: Inch'Allah!

We'll have to keep making do with the guesthouse but are so missing the European way of cooking and some privacy...

I've discovered a beautifully written article about life as an expat wife and so far I'm agreeing with a lot this author writes (do read it if you can spare some time):http://www.internationalman.com/78-global-perspectives/515-not-just-gin-and-tonics-why-being-an-expat-wife-is-harder-than-you-think#

First impressions of Muscat

Things to get used to...

There is a difference in timing of the weekdays compared to Europe. In Oman Sunday is the first day of the week. Weekends  start on Thursday evening until Saturday. 

Timing isn't the hardest thing one has to get used to... The thing we take the most for granted in Europe is the fact one can drink alcohol just about anywhere: in a bar, in a restaurant, at home, on the streets,... Seems like Europeans are alcoholics compared to people from the Middle-East.

Since leaving the plane we both haven't had a drop of alcohol. Not that we were alcoholics ;-)...

As soon as we have all our documents (work permit, Omani ID-card etc.,...) Wim will receive a 'liquor license' which gives us the opportunity of buying alcohol in a liquor store. One can spend up to 10% of his salary for buying alcohol. But when receiving a liquor licence one has to choose a maximum amount one will spend on alcohol and is then obliged to spend the whole amount each month. We haven't a clue how much alcohol costs, but we suppose it's not cheap. 

Even in restaurant's there is no alcohol available except in hotel restaurants, which we haven't visited so far.

Friday, the first day of the weekend

Wim went to the office each day and is getting used to working during office hours. Meanwhile I tutor the children and enjoy QT with them and they seem to enjoy it too. As school starts on wednesday 15th January at 7.30 a.m. we are trying to adapt to life here by waking up early and going to bed early too. (without the alcohol that isn't really a big problem ;-))

On Friday it was weekend! Hooray! We took the car to a Wadi nearby, not knowing what to expect. I must admit I expected a beautiful oasis with tropical blue water, but what we got in return gave us great pleasure too. We saw a river bedding and a lot of Omani's with high powered 4x4-jeeps driving in them, just for fun. As we had a high powered Pajero, we decided to go for it too. The kids enjoyed this as much as going on a roller coaster and I guess the biggest kid of the family enjoyed it the most! 

After this trip we decided to go to a nearby beach and headed for The Wave, an exclusive residential project near the sea (I believe it would be Oman's alternative to a Palm tree-project (Dubai)) in the hope we could have a decent (non Indian) meal. (I admit I was hoping for a glass of wine to make it a picture perfect, but that didn't happen ;-)

The Wave is a beautiful area in which we hoped to find a house before we came to Oman. However we would have loved living there we are even more so euphoric with our house which fits our needs so much better.

After lunch we drove to our compound as we were meeting up with our next door neighbour who is selling his car and we might be interested in buying it. Andy is a very friendly Englishman and welcomed us with open arms. Nearly all people in the compound are expats and the hilarious thing is, they all seem to have three children! The compound is built in a triangle around the garden and swimming pool. All terraces are adjacent to the garden and all children (between ages of 2 years to about 14 years old) know eachother and play together. The neighbours we've had the chance to meet are very friendly and helpful.

Saturday

On saturday we first went to the old city of Muscat where we wished to visit the Souq (a local market for gold, silver, textile,...), but first Max needed a haircut. We took him to a petite barbershop where he had his hair cut for a mere 1,5 euros! I think it must have been the barber's first blonde cut ever ;-)

The souq was not really what we expected to find, but is was a nice experience. After a quick lunch, we drove off heading for Al Sifah, a beach at 40 km of driving through the mountains. We must have passed the Sultan's palace as everything was so beautiful, exclusive and clean. Al Sifah, is an amazing clean beach with nice white sand, palm trees and nice blue water. 

I'd score it 9/10 (and my beach criteria are high ;-)). The fun part for Wim was being allowed to drive the 4x4 through the dunes... (I officially have a fourth child now ;-))

Omani

If people would ask me what to expect of the people I'd say, based on our first impressions, that there are three kinds of people: the Omani, the immigrants and the expats.

The Omani are very friendly and helpful, which is even reflected on their driving. This is something I haven't seen in a long time. In Belgium there often is a lot of indifference and mistrust between people. I even dare to say I feel much safer here.

As most Omani work for the government or the police or have high positioned jobs, they need people to build the houses and the roads. For that they have attracted Indians, Filipino's, Pakistani,... 

Then there are the expats, who are very lucky to be living in Oman.

To be continued...

A new (way of) life in Muscat

Flighing high
On January 3rd we left for the airport fully packed with 10 suitcases! For the children it was the first time on a plane. Flight BRU-ZUR/ZUR-DUB/DUB-MSK and to their relief they could experience multiple take-offs and landings. I won't brag about the seats in the plane, let's just say that I hope the kids enjoyed it as much as we did :-).
Touching ground
Landing in Muscat, local time was 11p.m.. First Wim went to arrange his working permit, as I stood behind him (as a real Omani should ;-)) then we settled the visa's for the children and me. Then we were picked up by a company driver in a 'pimped up, chromed out' minivan with royal curtains and a mirror on the ceiling! Most cars here have heavy motors as gas prices are hilariously cheap (try 0,4 euro/l). It was about 20° Celcius, a great contrast to Belgian winter weather... He drove us to our guesthouse where we will be staying until the container arrives with all our furniture. At the door two Indians (not to be confused with the feathered type :-)) welcomed us. They will be taking care of us during our stay (cleaning, cooking, washing, etc.) => very handy!
First family outing in Muscat
Leaving the guesthouse was not easy as roads don't really have names (nearly every road is called Way and the numbers aren't always logic). The GPS didn't really help us out either... We did manage to find the beach, where you can find millions of shells. In Oman the Sultan Qaboos doesn't approve of tall buildings, which makes the city with the white houses 'cozier' than a city like Dubai. 
Wim's first day at the office & my trip with the kids
In the morning Wim was picked up to go to the office. His superior is still in Belgium, so he was left to visit the premises and meet all the colleagues.
Meanwhile I took the car out for a drive. Driving is like in Belgium, and you can do everything except for three things, which have huge consequenses: driving past a red light, crossing full yellow lines or slipping (leaving tyre marks on the road). The punishment for either one of these actions: 48 hours imprisonment...
I went to search for our house. It was beautiful - even better than in the pictures we saw. Our house is the most right one with the empty terrace (In my enthusiasm of finding it, I took a picture of the wrong one... Maybe blog 'blondes in Muscat' would have been a more appropriate title ;-))

Afterwards we visited the local playground.

Visiting the school and the mall
The school is a very big and well organised. Max will need a uniform. Both children will be in classes of approximately 20 students and will have two teachers. Max is lucky as he is not the only child in his class starting on 14th of January. A girl from Holland (not speaking any English) will be joining his class too. And the cherry on top of the cake is that they will have extra class with Mrs Nancy (a Belgian too!) who will help the children with English. How great is that?
There is one more week of school holiday left, so each morning I give some private tutoring to Max so he attains some basic knowledge.
The mall was a small adventure. There are several Malls in Muscat, but I visited the largest and most European one. I needed an Oman cellnumber. I was wearing a blouse and linnen pants, trying to cover up as much as possible as to not offend any Omani man or woman. I'm still not very certain of the dress code, so tried to be as careful as possible. Walking back to the car, I noticed most of the buttons of my blouse stood open and a clear viewing of my red bra was to be seen. How embarassing! There goes my discretion ;-) 

Ending a chapter in Belgium

It's been a while since my last blog. I know... Life has been very turbulent the last few weeks, but nothing we couldn't handle, but I admit it, we were at our limit... 

Here a short (I'll try) resume of the latest events:

1. Risky business - On November 25th we were euphoric when finding a renter for our house. It was very soon, but the couple seemed reliable and produced all relevant copies of income, payments of previous lease, ...  It took a while for the guarantee of the bank and the first month of rent to be paid, but we weren't suspicious yet. On the 27th of December an expert was in Zoersel in order to make an inventory of the premises. The expert was supposed to be paid in cash by both parties. Our renter didn't have any money on him but promised to bring the money later that afternoon but never did. The renter also hoped to posses the keys so he could move in that same weekend. He told us he had paid the first month rent and that it probably was because of the bank holidays that the money was not yet on our account. As for the bank guarantee, some kind of extra paperwork needed to be done. He did offer to pay all this in cash so he could receive the keys of the house. FORTUNATELY Wim reacted very appropriatly by saying he wanted the money by the means foreseen in the lease contract. No money ever appeared in our account. We never heard from the renters after that... As they never answered any calls, there was no option left but to contact an attorney to end the lease asap. By contacting the owner of the house they still occupied, I found out these people never paid rent and were convicted to leave their house before December 31st or they would be forced to leave. We even found out most documents they had produced were forged! At the moment we are still waiting for termination of the lease, but we hope this will be over soon so we can take another chance at finding a reliable renter.
2. Taking a Cat Scan - Suffering from severe aches of the stomach-area. I went to the doctor who put me on antibiotics and ordered a CT-scan asap. Conclusion of the radiologists: a swollen uterus and oh, by the way, we can't exclude cancer of the uterus or the bowels... GREAT! In the days/short weeks left I spent time visiting a bunch of specialists who wished to operate anyway just to be sure. Let's say I've had some maintenance done and I'm cleared for hitting the road at full speed again.
3. Cat AWOL - Meanwhile in Zoersel... Louis (our cat) went for a stroll and decided to not come back. He never went very far, so we thought maybe he entered someone's house/shed and got locked in. We called on all our neighbours but couldn't find him. After a week we still hoped for a happy ending, but started to worry . I thought maybe he might have gotten caught in an animal trap. Wim checked the woods in front of our house and found more than 20 (fortunately empty) traps... He immediately called the police. After they came and confronted the neighbour who put the traps there, Louis came running home uninjured. Very weird timing, it could only mean one thing: Louis was trapped by the neighbour who decided to keep him. In some countries one would consider this catnapping ;-).

Between all these activities, we still managed to organise small farewell parties/dinners, enjoy the holidays, sell both cars, prepare the house for the big move,... Days seemed hours. Nights were short. 

Looking at the children I sometimes wished I was as ignorant as them, enjoying the holidays and playing like no change was to come. But it was... but for the good!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Where can I buy magic little red shoes?

Change is good! Yes! Definitely! But change can bring on some challenging to do's given the short time we have to get things organised.
Sometimes I wished I had Dorothy's* magic little red shoes: then I'd click my heels and we'd be in Muscat. Just like that...

There is a list of to do's in Belgium, but also a list of things to get sorted out in Oman. Meanwhile we have made a lot of decisions, like renting our house instead of selling, selling our car(s) or maybe taking one of them with us in the shipping container,...
There are things within our control, and these things we absolutely have no influence on, which is frustrating for a controlfreak like me ;-).
Good news, no, fantastic news as we found the best solution ever for our loving pets Grappa (golden retriever) and Louis (cat). They are both moving to different neighbours, but are at a mere walking distance of eachother. They will both be provided with the attention they need and be welcomed in nice families. Check!
I must admit some to do's bring a certain amount of stress, like the schools our children will (not) be attending in Muscat. There seem to be several international schools, but all with waiting lists and they can give no certainty for an admission as early as January. As it's Max's first year in primary school and he has to learn a new language too and we find it very important he doesn't miss anything here or in Oman. 
Looking for a renter for our Belgian home will be challenging too as it's such short notice and moving in the winter isn't high on a Belgian's priority list...
Oh well, only time will tell how this will all evolve, all with one goal: a few years of sun, new friends, new culture,... and sewing! ;-) I just bought a heavy duty Singer, for rainy days..., no for too hot days! Maybe I'm naive thinking I'll have time for this, but hey, we love making the most of every minute so we'll find the time, right?

*Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz

How it all began...

When you're a child, the thing you dream of the most is the future...

One day, the future you dreamt of becomes more than a reality:

I wished to get a degree, after many years I did :-)

I wished to find someone just right for me, I took a bumpy track but finally met him.

I wished us a cozy house where we could raise a family, check!

Then came our loving offspring: two sons and our cherry on top of the cake, a daughter!

Fulfilling jobs, both ours...

Dog and cat, to fill the garden.

Everything just right. We're 35. Then comes this big question: is this it? We who are looking for stability, find it and then still want to change something, for the fun of it, for the excitement. 

Moving abroad was something I experienced as a child. My parents moved to Portugal when I was 5 years old. I lived there during my whole primary school and still think of the times as bliss. It's true, maybe I've idealised this period of my life, but honestly, who wouldn't think it paradise to live in a mostly sunny country with friendly people, live in a beautiful house by the seaside, meet loads of people, go to an international school, go horsebackriding in the woods/on the beach (alone),... in short: having the time of my life.

Moving back to Belgium at the time, I was 12, was not easy. I adapted soon, learnt to write Flemish, made new friends, but kept dreaming of Portugal.

It was a gift my parents gave me, unknowing it would forever be in my heart, or have such an influence on my being flexible and independent.

One of my fantasies was being able to experience this again as a parent and being able to let our children experience life abroad, each as an individual. Hopefully giving them each a priceless gift of culture, love for another country, an open mindedness for meeting other people and learning to be flexible and independent too.

Completely unexpecting this adventure would ever cross our paths, the opportunity arose to move to Muscat, Oman, for a period of at least two years for Wim's (my other half :-)) job. As we literally have nothing to lose, we both jumped on the opportunity. 

Last Thursday we found out the job was his. Now it's a week later as we speak and if all goes according to plan, Wim will fly over on January 3rd 2014. The children and I will follow as soon as we have a house, the furniture has arrived and we have a school for the boys.

We are both still working and have just informed family and friends, who are all surprised and mostly happy for us.